- We had my 5th baby and FINALLY it was a girl!
- I am now homeschooling a HIGHSCHOOLER!!
- We’ve just celebrated 1yr as homeowners.
- I threw myself a GRAND 40th birthday party!
- I promised myself that I would start an on-line biz and I did. *update-this was shutdown within 6 months. Too much to do and what do I know about online businesses.
- I was diagnosed, for the second time, with DCIS, Ductal Carcinoma In Situ.
This time i decided to go through w/the mastectomy. Unlike in 2000.
I told my Dr. that he couldn’t just take one; they both had to go. Sorry Rightie (a.k.a Flip) but w/Leftie (a.k.a Flop)gone I just wouldn’t feel right (a.k.a A Freak).
My Dr. was somewhat confused about my decision, he doesn’t like to operate on healthy tissue.
But WHATEVER! I told my Doc, I’m not gonna watch one breast hang around and lose it’s fight with gravity over the next 30 yrs! No, no, no Flip has gots to go!
So Wednesday, Sept 26 at high noon I will be under the knife and having BOTH of my little friends, Flip and Flop, removed. A Bilaterial Mastectomy. I call it “The Double Bubble Chop Chop”!
I’m not afraid or doubtful. I feel this is exactly where i;m suppose to be at this point in my life. I thank God for the many prayers that have gone up for me. All across the country friends are praying and having their churches pray for me.
But I do feel sorry for Flip & Flop. They have served me well. They have nursed 5 (!!) babies and have satisfied my Beloved. They have been the center of attention by many an eye since i was 12 yrs old. They started out as 36C’s and are now 38D’s. They have grown and have been admired and loved. And on Wednesday they will be laying on a table, detached from me. They will be observed, fondled, handled and admired by many but without the love. They will only be specimens as I will be in a teaching hospital.
That’s their fate. Could it be that as wonderful nurturer’s they caught the abnormal cells and held on to them to protect me? Our bodies are wonderfully complex and living. It’s a fact all cells are LIVING and communicating with each other all the time. I imagine that when the abnormal cells started producing my left breast enticed them, charmed them, persuaded them to come to her. All of the other cells in my body participated in the beguilement, encouraging the “abnormal” cells to go and partake in the warmth of Flop’s bosom. She lured them into her ducts and then swallowed them whole! Just to protect me.
She didn’t know how long she could contain them. She knew they would eventually take over. She tried to warn me as far back as 1998. I had just weaned my 2nd male child and periodically would notice a tinge of blood in my bra. I ignored it because i didn’t know what it meant. I thought i was leaking milk, chocolate. In 2000 it turned into a lump. I had it looked at and biopsied and was told that it was cancerous. After prayer, I decided not to go the recommended route of mastectomy then. I was 33 yrs old for goodness sakes!
With God’s help I decided to cleanse, detoxify and build my immune system. Nutritional therapy. 9 months later i was pregnant with my 3rd male child. He nursed like the Milk Monster and I choose to see that as God’s way of saying I was healed. Flip and Flop were properly handling their jobs.
The big 9lb 11oz boy grew & grew. Busy w/4 boys (we had custody of my nephew at that time) I couldn’t keep up w/cleansing and the wholistic eating and slowly went back to eating the delectable crapola that permeates our society.
Soon after I weened him I was pregnant with our 4 male child. He was born in Jan 2006. I now had a 12yb, 7yb, 6yb(nephew) 3yb and a newborn. I forgot about building my immune system, I had too much to do; homeschooling, chauffeuring, breastfeeding, cooking, cleaning, washing, training, clipping toenails, cutting hair, etc. etc.
I did notice there was a lump that didn’t go away even after i finish nursing. Once I weened him (by accident) I noticed it was still there. But I immediately got pregnant with our 5th (!!!) child.
I went on to see the Dr. anyway. After an ultrasound, mammogram and needle biopsy it was determined that, Yep it’s cancer. Flop was holding it down. It was in the duct, but had some escaped? My limp-nodes are enlarged.
My 1st daughter was born May 2007. She nursed up until last week. But she will never know it. She will always see me as a breast-less woman. That’s why I had to take the pictures.
Anyho, we’ll find out on Wednesday if Flop was able to contain the abnormal cells. I am appreciative to her for taking care of me. I appreciate Flip too. Both Flip and Flop have been great gals and I hate to see them go. I’m sure my husband hates it just as much but he’s not much of a talker when it comes to emotional issues so i can only assume.
What a year 2007 has been!